Mother of a Clubfeet Ballerina Part 1



Clubfeet Ballerina :)

Four years ago, I was pregnant with my first child and only child (so far) when we went to the most exciting doctors appointment...The one where they do that exciting ultrasound where they tell you if you're having a little prince or princess. The ultrasound tech did all the measurements and then told us we would be having a baby girl!!! Daddy was excited most of all because he wanted a daddy's girl! The tech then scheduled us for another appointment because she couldn't get all the measurements she needed that day.


 When we returned two days later a new tech met with us and as she began to do the ultrasound told us we were scheduled there that day because they had found that the baby had clubfeet and they wanted me to see the doctor on staff... she explained that the baby's feet were turned in and that it was a physical deformity. The doctor then entered and he began to explain that when a deformity of this type is present there is the possibility that another genetic or mental disorder can be present as well (meanwhile I haven't stopped crying since the tech said the word deformity) Hearing him say this just made me more nervous scared and confused...what had i done wrong...why is this happening...why can't i breathe? I could barely hear him speak...he sounded so far away as I picked up only the words: down syndrome, Edwards Syndrome, Cerebral palsy, Spina bifida.

 He told me that clubfeet was treatable and could be fixed at birth through a process of casting and surgery but we still needed to do a genetic test to be sure that the baby didn't have any of those genetic disorders he mentioned and after we received the results I could make the decision of weather I'd like to proceed with the pregnancy.....(did he mean abortion?) At this point I was crying so much I couldn't speak...so many questions were popping into my head and I was frozen couldn't speak couldn't breath. Was I really going to have to make the choice of bringing a child with a mental disorder into this world or to terminate the pregnancy and kill the baby who I had already began to love? How would I make a choice like this how could it even cross my mind. The doctor asked me if I would like to have the test done and I shook my head "yes" then he pulled out this long needle and stuck it in my belly...he told me that doing this can also cause a miscarriage and I would have to be on bed rest. I went home that day and googled clubfeet (which didn't help how i was feeling)

For two weeks I cried and prayed as I waited for the results of the amino test. I can't imagine a worse feeling in the world than being told that your child is sick with a mental or physical disorder. I was sleepless for two weeks until the morning came when I received the call. I couldn't bring my self to answer the phone and when i finally did the nurse on the other end of the phone told me that the baby was fine that the results returned negative...my princess will be born with clubfeet but no mental disorders. I've never been so thankful and relieved in my life. God hadn't left my side my prayers had been answered. I tried not to think about her feet for the rest of the pregnancy because when I ever I did my chest will feel heavy and tears would drown my eyes. I figured I should be strong if God got me through this process he will give me the strength I would need to help my daughter with her club feet once she was born.